The Discipline of Hope.

Desire. Desire fuels so much of our lives. We want love, money, things, friendships, and all manner of other things. We desire joy in our lives, and we pursue it through a variety of means. The Declaration of Independence calls it the "Pursuit of Happiness." All of mankind has desire.

Loss. Loss drains us of our will to continue. Loss of love, money, things, friendships, and all manner of other things. We lose on a daily basis. Our time spent on a fruitless endeavor, friendships turned sour, money spent on wasteful things, a loss of self worth from the words of another. All of mankind has felt loss.

How are we to respond to loss and desire? Desire drives us forward, loss beats us down.
After being beat down enough times, it is so very understandable that we begin to give up on our desires. On hope.

Hope is defined as the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. We may hope in any number of things, but as believers in the Christ our truest, most faithful hope is in the atonement Jesus gave us on the cross. Or, more rather, the fuller action of making us co-heirs with Him as Sons and Daughters of God. That promise of family and future, our shared inheritance, is the hope of our hearts. We strive and long for it as man in the desert longs for a single glass of water.

The denial of our desires has so often driven out our hope. How? God's promises are sound, our future is true after our very deaths, so how does loss turn into despair?

The denial of desire in our current circumstance is used to cast doubt on the veracity of God's promise. "If God loved you, why would He send you through this pain?" "If God loved you, why would he allow you to hurt?" "If God loved you, why... why... why...?" "If God loves you enough to save you, where is He?" "Where was God when...?" "Where is God now?" "Was God ever there?"

In response to the questions both from within and without we must have a discipline in the truth. We, like soldiers, must be so practiced in the arts of combat then when the Enemy begins to attack we do not doubt or freeze but we spring into action. We identify the source of the attack, and we with ferocity counter attack. We find the root cause of our pain and loss, and we cut it off. It may take days, weeks, or years to fight it back as the Enemy pours in more pain and doubt, but ever vigilant we must maintain faith and discipline for the truth of God's love. We must maintain hope. And to fight against despair, the Psalmist teaches us of the discipline of hope. To earnestly ask ourselves in the midst of trial and torment, Why are you cast down, O my soul?

As a deer pants for flowing streams,

    so pants my soul for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God,

    for the living God.

When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food

    day and night,

while they say to me all the day long,

    “Where is your God?”

These things I remember,

    as I pour out my soul:

how I would go with the throng

    and lead them in procession to the house of God

with glad shouts and songs of praise,

    a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

    and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

    my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;

    therefore I remember you

from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,

    from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep

    at the roar of your waterfalls;

all your breakers and your waves

    have gone over me.

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

    and at night his song is with me,

    a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God, my rock:

    “Why have you forgotten me?

Why do I go mourning

    because of the oppression of the enemy?”

As with a deadly wound in my bones,

    my adversaries taunt me,

while they say to me all the day long,

    “Where is your God?”

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

    and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

    my salvation and my God.

Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause

    against an ungodly people,

from the deceitful and unjust man

    deliver me!

For you are the God in whom I take refuge;

    why have you rejected me?

Why do I go about mourning

    because of the oppression of the enemy?

Send out your light and your truth;

    let them lead me;

let them bring me to your holy hill

    and to your dwelling!

Then I will go to the altar of God,

    to God my exceeding joy,

and I will praise you with the lyre,

    O God, my God.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

    and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

    my salvation and my God.

Psalms 42-43, ESV

We find here that the desire of the Psalmists heart has been denied, and his oppressors taunt him. He responds by seeking the Lord and His praise. His life is filled with pain and torment, to the point that his soul is feeding on the tears he weeps, and in his weeping he hears "Where is your God?" God seems absent in his life. And if God is absent, what hope does he have? Immediately after identifying the source of his pain, the psalmist goes on the counter attack. 

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

    and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

    my salvation and my God.

Three times the Psalmist finds something that torments his heart. Lack of intimacy and closeness with God in the time of his pain, the affliction of his enemies and their words, and the feeling of rejection from He who would accept us into His refuge. All three themes are present in each chorus and each time the Psalmist speaks to his heart, reminding his soul that there is a future with God. That no matter what trials he may go through he knows that one day he will be in the presence of the Holy God and once again find the joy of giving Him praise and being in relationship with Him again.

Every day we are met in battle, seen or unseen, and desire and hope are met with loss and despair. We can choose to self medicate on satisfying our carnal desires for food, books, toys, sex, or unhealthy relationships. Or we can seek out the Holy and learn the Discipline of Hope. That no matter what dismal circumstance we find ourselves in we immediately chastise our soul for despairing and remind ourselves that once again we shall be in deep and intimate relationship with the most Holy God. To say to ourselves in a spirit of challenge and in spurring ourselves to action "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?" Why are you wallowing in self pity? Why are you sitting torn inside me, bleeding out the life of our being for a wound that is only a temporary affliction? "Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God." Get up off the ground, dust yourself off, and remember that God is our hope, God is greater then our pain, God has a deep and beautiful relationship in store for us and this transient pain in life is merely a part of the road to it. I know, even if it requires my death to be there, that I will once again enter the Most Holy Place and in fearless abandon praise the God my God. 

This is a discipline. One does not just recall this in a time of struggle, but it must be kept in our minds and hearts, binding this truth to our soul on a daily basis so that when we are attacked we are armed and defended. No soldier trains for battle the day before the war starts, but instead spends all of his duty time preparing and training. He focuses with intent on his varied duties, and that includes time on the range and in the gym and in the training rooms learning how to fight and gain victory over any enemy that he may find. When the war comes, he is not found wanting or empty, but is filled with a spirit of battle, able to serve and to handle the varied struggles the battle will bring. It is no different for you or I, and we must intensely focus our hearts on preparing ourselves, disciplining ourselves, into the service of our Lord God, the great Commander of our army. Our King has rallied us to fight and serve for His kingdom on this Earth. Our battles may be different than what we see on the news or films, but it is no less real, and the Enemy is not above assassination of our souls. And despair is a choice weapon of his ilk. They will find those who seek to follow God and fill our hearts with despair, disrupting our love affair with the Lord and filling our hearts with bitterness for the trials we face. Remember. We have a promise of co-heirship with Christ. Our inheritance and value is not in this life, but the next. This life is our tour of duty, and we cannot afford to lose our time of service to despair and loss. 

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

    and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

    my salvation and my God.

Morning musings.

~3:30 a.m. Roll over in bed, look at time projected on ceiling, wonder why I am awake at this hour. Again. Pet the cat who wanders over to see what the fuss is about.

~4:30 a.m. Roll over in bed, look at the time, and wonder I am not asleep. Again. Kick the cat because he is attacking my feet. Again.

5:00 a.m. Cell phone alarm goes off. Reach up to window sill, silence alarm, lay in bed while trying to understand what is going on. Right. Morning. Maybe I'll call in dead?

5:04 a.m. Heave myself out of bed, stumble to the bath room (petting the cat who is laying on the corner of the bed) and start the shower. (Optional, start coffee before shower) Shower, brush teeth, wash hair, etc.

5:15 a.m. Second alarm goes off (in case the first alarm didn't get me up). Still in shower. Ignore. It silences itself.

5:20 a.m. Second alarm repeats, since it got no reply the first time. Stepping out of shower, silence alarm. Dry off. Walk to scales and weigh myself. Comb hair.

5:25 a.m. Get dressed after entering weight into www.fitbit.com.

5:26 a.m. Get distracted from getting dressed by the lure of checking my webcomics and news sites.

5:30 a.m. Third alarm goes off. Silence alarm and drop phone into shirt pocket of  the dress shirt I put one while reading interwebs.

5:40 a.m. Notice time, finish getting dressed, put lunch and breakfast in bag, make sure I have phone, comb, name badge, spare cash for water if needed on walk home. Make sure FitBit is in belt clip

5:45-6:00 a.m. Turn off lights, computer, etc, finish optional coffee, walk out door and lock it. Start walking to work.

~24 minutes after leaving apt, arrive at work. (Usually 6:24 a.m.) Meet supervisor out side building as he enjoys first cup of work coffee. Talk about previous day, plan for day ahead, talk family. Chew fat.

~6:30 a.m. Put lunch in freezer at work. Start breakfast cooking.

~6:35 a.m. Sit down at desk, let food cool off. Log into PC, start loading work programs. Go get coffee and water. Come back to desk. Finish loading programs.

~6:40 a.m. Listen to morning voicemail from CEO on store sales and other noted events. Load morning websites.

6:45 a.m. Clock in, log into phone, start work.

We all have our little quirks, our habits, our patterns. Sometimes they are created because we can't stand an unstructured life, sometimes they are imposed on us by our career (military life comes to mind), and sometimes by our loved ones, children who need to be up in time for the bus in the morning.

For me, it was about survival. Not life or death, but I wanted to keep my job. My car went Kaput, and begging rides is not how I roll. (Heh... Rides... how I *roll*... get it? Ahem) I have to either walk or bike to work. The bike needs some work done on it, so I am walking. When the car first stopped on me, I didn't have a bike to use, so I was walking regardless.

I knew, without a doubt, that the ONLY way I was going to show up on time was to turn my morning into a regimented routine with a built in room for error. You may have heard the axiom "Hope for the best, plan for the worst." I've read enough military sci-fi to understand that the best thing to plan for first is your "Go-To-Hell" plan. That way, when if you are still working on other projects and plans and things suddenly go to hell, you have a plan for it. My go to hell plan is to call my boss and beg a ride if I am running really late. He knows this, and has offered rides before, so I don't feel too sorry about it. When my car was working, my go to hell plan was walking. It's a good thing I had a plan.

When I was at Multnomah, I had a 7am class. Ugh. I ended up with a similar routine in place to get me to class. I am not a morning person, but I am a routine person. If I have a routine in place, I follow it fairly well. A little too well, sometimes. One morning I stumbled into the cafeteria for breakfast and the lady there scanning meal cards looked at me and declared "You're late!" It turns out I was five minutes later than when I normally would walk in. I didn't know I was that regular, I just followed my routine. I had to. If I didn't, I wouldn't make it to class.

There are three things I want to highlight. The first two are ones that really only came to me as I was writing this.

1) What routines do we have, good or bad, in our lives? How can we remove the bad ones, and replace them with good ones? How can we use these good routines in our lives? What do bad ones or poorly built ones do to negatively impact our lives?

2) What is your "Go-To-Hell" plan?Do you have a plan for getting items of value to safety if you need to evacuate? I do. Do you have a plan to get to work if the car breaks down? I do (obviously). My co-worker just called in saying he was in a bad wreck. (He said he is ok, by the way, but prayers appreciated.) Do we have a plan to get him to work once the on site stuff is settled? Yep. At work we just did a major revision of our emergency planning for all kinds of problems. (Most begin with "grab the firebag and run like crazy.") We have a plan. Do you?

3) How many people don't have a job to plan for? How many people do not have the privilege of going to work in the morning, of earning money. How many have given up hope of a future? Americans have been accused of being lazy. And to some degree, that may be true. But one thing that has always been true is that by and large, Americans are not afraid of work. As a country, we need to work, we need to move, we need to have something to plan for. We cannot do this when we are taxed to heavily, when our employers are forced to pay higher premiums on insurance, and after being fleeced to pay for government programs for the poor, they cannot afford to hire the poor. The needy. The hungry. The ones willing to work.

The answer is not to support our poor in their poverty. It is to keep them uncomfortable in it, to let the employers have the money they need to hire more people, to let the poor lift them selves out of poverty by getting a job, even if it is minimum wage, and to plan and hope for a better future. To have a reason for a Go-To-Hell plan, because they are no longer in it. Power over poverty does not rest in the government.

It rests with the people.

These are things I think about when walking to work.

Thoughts on the nature of sin.

No big prognostications or throwing patriotism in peoples faces today. Just some meandering thoughts.

In writing a story of mine a few years back (need to finish it, dernit), I had to have one character explain the nature sin to another character. Particularly, I needed one woman, Sara, who is a Christian, to explain how she can believe in Christ, follow Him, and stand against sins like homosexuality, when she herself is attracted to women.

Chloe, the other woman in the scene, doesn't understand how Sara reconcile her natural desires and the belief in a God who would have her deny those desires. How is that a loving God?

The problem, of course, is that for Sara to adequately explain this, I have to be able to adequately explain it. Oh, joy.

In the end, I came up with a somewhat odd theory.

Some people are born with physical deformities. Some or benign, if a little odd. Dwarfism, comes to mind. Nothing wrong or bad about dwarfism, it's just not the norm. Having a sixth finger. Purple eyes. All benign, just... different.

Some are not so benign. Siamese twins, with the possible health and social consequences, autism, children born missing part or all of limbs, born with cancer already riddling their bodies, heart conditions, etc. These threaten the very lives of the ones who have them, and if they are not killed, they can still suffer tremendous hurdles in their path for the rest of their lives.

The same is true for us spiritually, I believe.

Some of us are born with benign spiritual deformities. I like puns. A lot. :D I have a hard time feeling a connection to a given place or object the way other people do. Others have a hard time relating to others emotions. Generally benign, they are the little quirks that make us unique.

And some are as dangerous as physical conditions. I have a temper that sometimes gets me in trouble. I have a innate fear that everyone at some point is out to get me, and have a very hard time trusting people because of it. There are people who have a spiritual mutation that causes them to desire things they should not. Sex outside of God's intention, premarital, extramarital, homosexual, bisexual, bestiality, etc. Some are masochists, some are anorexic, and some are suicidal.

Many of the strange ideas I have seen that I know are against the Word of God is, quite frankly, unfathomable to me. Bestiality, for one, makes me want to puke. Ditto for male homosexuality. I guess since I am attracted to woman, I can understand how a woman would be attracted to a woman. *Shrug*

But just because I don't understand the desires many people have, doesn't mean I can't recognize the source of those desires. From the time Adam and Eve sinned and God Cursed them, our spiritual mutations have been passed on the same way our genetic ones have.

Does this mean I am ok with Gays living a gay lifestyle? After all, they were born with the desire, it is a part of who they are!

Am I ok with letting an infant grow up with cancerous growths? After all, he was born with it!

We as men are blessed to be able to fight and cure many diseases. We cannot, however, cure spiritual ones. We can try and mitigate the symptoms, discipline and train ourselves to overcome them on a daily basis, but only God can cure us.

To the LGBT community who may be reading this, I am not attacking you. I am not saying you are horrible evil people who should be beaten or killed or what not. Nor am I saying you should be silenced from speaking out on your beliefs. I am simply stating my beliefs.

To the Christian community who may be reading this, my goal is this: remind ourselves that we ALL are sick. We all have mutations in our souls that only God can heal and cure. And to be honest, He may choose not to cure them. Give us strength to live with them, yes. Cure, unlikely. But before we go and launch an attack on the ones we see as sick, remember, so are we. We simply have had the blessing of knowing the loving and kindness and discipline of the Father. If we are to really serve as His hands on this earth, we need to show the same attributes to our brothers and sisters.

Do I give up one inch on saying homosexuality is wrong? No. But "Gay bashing" is not right, either.
Do I give up one inch on saying masochism is wrong? No. But attacking masochists as freaks is not right, either.

We has a Christian culture have failed to correctly identify the target of our arguments. We must strike against the idea that just because we are "born this way" it is alright to live that way. Some people are born as sociopathic killers. We don't say it's alright for them to live that way!

The counter-argument of course will be that how do we know that heterosexuality is the way to are supposed to be born. We can't just pick and choose what we like being born with, after all!

Fortunatly, we don't have to. God has done that for us. We must hold God's word as the standard. If we have a doubt on something, go to the Word in prayer. The Word, and a reliance on our Faith, is the only way we can make a change in our culture. If we try and argue on a worldly basis, we will lose. Not because what we say isn't true, but because worldly "truth" is not grounded in God's truth.

Anyway. That's my thoughts.

Eric.

Conversation with God.

One of the hardest things for me in life right now is being single. I keep hearing how it's supposedly a great thing, to enjoy it while it lasts, that you lose freedom by being in a relationship... you know what? Being single sucks. By nature I am an extroverted introvert. An introvert who, when at work or some other setting where the rules for social engagement is understood, will be able to express interest with others and be able to open up. In my case, to tell really bad jokes (so I am told). Out side of work, church, and IMing with family and three or four others, I have ZERO social life.

Eric, you say, there is your problem! No social life, no way to meet girls!

Firstly, I want a Lady, not a girl. Secondly, I am not a social person. Neither is my dad, but he managed to find Mom! So, what's the deal? Warning... Don't ask God this. The conversation might go like this...

Me: God, why am I still single? You know I want a relationship, what's holding me back?
God: (Silence. Of course. Sigh.)
Me: It's not like I'm not ready for a relationship. I have a good job, an apt, I am responsible at work and with my cat...
God: Oh really....
Eric: .... uh... crap. God replied.
God: So, you're ready for a relationship?
Eric: (Is this a trick question?) Yeees? I think so?
God: So, you are able to handle all the loan payments, bills, food, etc without needing any help from family?
Eric: Uh....
God: It's ok. It happens. But tell me this: are you responsible to everything that needs doing at home?
Eric: ... I'm afraid to ask, but what do you mean?
God: How is you're laundry?
Eric: Done.
God: Dishes?
Eric: Done.
God: Is the table cleaned off?
Eric: ...
God: The couch?
Eric: ...
God: The bathroom clean? The kitchen? Have you swept the floor and taken out the trash? Is your refrigerator clean?
Eric: No.
...
...
God: What about your relationship with Me?
Eric: I don't like where this is headed.
God: And I do?
Eric: ... point.
God: You know, you've even extolled on, the need for men to have a healthy relationship with Me before they can truly be the servant leaders their wives deserve.
Eric: Okay, I see where you are headed with this, but honestly, wouldn't a relationship help stabilize me to the point where *our* relationship would improve?
God: ...
Eric: ... yeah... ok... that was a bad argument.
God: Don't get me wrong, a woman in your life would do wonders for you...
Eric: ... thanks?
God: But are you so focused on not having a relationship that you aren't concerned about our relationship? You know any woman you will really want to pursue will desire a man who is pursuing Me. So... what's your holdup, tiger?
Eric: ... I'm really not happy with the direction this conversation has taken.
God: I think I worked it rather well, myself...
Eric: Well, yeah, but you're GOD... you can do anything.
God: Point.
Eric: Sigh.
God: Yep.
Eric: Why is it so hard for me to actually pursue you? Or even to do the basic things like be in Your Word?
God: Am I your God?
Eric: Well, duh, yes.
God: Am I?
Eric: ... why do I feel a Peter on the lakeshore moment coming?
God: Cause I made you Genre Savvy.
Eric: ... thanks?
God: Eric, do you even want me in your life, or am I just a call service to get you what you want?
Eric: Now that is just unfair. You know I am not like That!
God: And you know I have used hyperbole in the past to highlight certain flaws that would otherwise be "mysteriously overlooked."
Eric: ... still don't like the implication.
God: And I do?
Eric: ...  There is no easy fix to this, is there?
God: No. No there is not.
Eric: Alright. I'll... I'll try. I don't know how I'll do it... but I'll try.
God: You know....
Eric: I'm almost afraid to ask...
God: You are very process and ritual oriented...
Eric: Noticed...
God: You could, for the sake of argument, get up an hour earlier, show up to work an hour earlier, and while your boss is not there spent time in My Word while it is quiet...
Eric: ... That means getting up at 4 A.M.
God: I know.
Eric: I do not like 4 A.M.
God: I'm rather fond of it.
Eric: I'm not sure I like You right now.
God: Never said you had to like Me. Though it does help.
Eric: ... I will take it into consideration.
God: Please do.
Eric: Right. Anyway. Nice chat.
God: Ayep.
Eric: ... Did God just say "Ayep?"


God: Ayep.

The mote and the plank...

I have noticed a disturbing trend the past few years. Here, let me show you.

Do you see it?

We get aggravated with those who disagree with us, frustrated at those who cannot seem to exhibit the slightest bit of common sense, even violently angry at those who just plain refuse to listen to us, and how do we respond? We find a way to belittle them. We find a cute picture, or even just a plain background, and pour our vitriolic feelings into the guise of wisdom.  We show them to be the gibbering fools we know them to be, and smack down their arguments by not letting them speak in the first place, and instead we condescend to them with sarcasm and wit. 

We do it relieve anger, to de-stress, to maybe make a friend laugh...

We do it to feel superior. 

Now, before some who knows me (like my Mom) pipes in here, yes, Mea Culpa.  I am guilty as charged, I have done this in the past. But lately... I just get fed up with it. Where is our respect for our fellow siblings in Christ? If you are an atheist, then where is our respect for the freedom of speech? Where is our willingness to engage in the battlefield of ideas, not as stormtroopers beating our opponents into bloody submission, but as chess players weighing the value of piece of an argument before placing it strategically to counter our fellow players pieces. Where is the ability to stand up, shake hands, and have respect for those we disagree with? When did that go away?

Our sarcasm and wit makes us feel smart, it validates us and our opinions, without us needing to face a human soul who is wounded by our words. 

When I was a teen, I surrounded myself with a group of guys who were also smart, and we knew it. Worse, we had the test scores to prove it. And because we were alienated from everyone else because we were homeschooled, we banded together and were secure in the knowledge that we would one day rule the world (or at least some portion of it) and it would be sweet, and we would finally be able to fix all the things the other idiots had broken. 

How deluded I was. 

I am happy to rule over my apartment, though it seems not my cat, and as to fixing things, well, does doing tech support count?

We must learn to still our hearts and our tongues until we have learned what we truly believe, why we believe it, how to craft an argument for it, and above all we must hold ourselves still until we have learned love and respect. All our wit and biting sarcasm will only serve to validate those who agree with us, and not one person will see it and say "What was I thinking, of course, now it all makes sense!" 

 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.   Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.  For

“Whoever desires to love life

    and see good days,

let him keep his tongue from evil

    and his lips from speaking deceit;

 let him turn away from evil and do good;

    let him seek peace and pursue it.

 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,

    and his ears are open to their prayer.

But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.

1 Peter 3:8-17

Or perhaps Peters words from chapter 1 is more appropriate.

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 

1 Peter 1:13-19

At the risk of aggrandizing myself, I ask you to look at how I have crafted this post. I aim to insult no one, I only hope present for your consideration a logical argument to support my statement: We must, without compromise, exhibit the love and reason Christ showed to both the ones who followed Him and the ones who mocked Him. 

Jesus, when challenged by the ones who knew they were smart and used words to validate themselves in the eyes of man, responded to question of law this way:

 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. 

And a second is like it: 

You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 

On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:37-40

Sole Survivors, or, When Life Gives You Lemons, Climb Mountains With Them!

But Eric, you say, what do lemons have to do with climbing?

Everything!

Kinda.

Ok, bear with me here. First off, I am stealing from a post on a forum I read on www.fitbit.com. I posted the story I relate below, and Ken replied, and... well... just keep reading.

Lately my bike has been having some issues. The rear tire has been going soft over time. I have two spare tubes, but when you buy 700cc tubes, apparently Wal-Mart only sells them with a Presta valve. uh. Ok. Sure think, boss. Whatever. It's a tire.

Yeah, no. Standard valves in the good ole U.S. of A. are Schraders. Different critter. Suck.

So until I can get a Presta Pump, or an adapter, I have just been pumping up the rear tire once in a while. No biggie.

Until this morning. This morning I got on my bike, pedaled maybe five feet, and realized the Front tire was flat. Screw this. I'm walking.

I'm a paranoid person (Do NOT enter my apt without announcing yourself. It will not end well for you.), so I always leave 45 minutes early for work. I live about a mile away, so it's a nice walk. I get to see the sunrise most mornings. Pretty sweet deal, really.

So I lock up my Schwinn, toss my helmet back in the door, and head out. I notice that there are less crickets out, which is nice. Sun rise is pretty, and a good breeze. It's a good day.

Naturally, I am wearing my Fitbit. I see my steps, think "cool," and go on with my day.

I average about 9-10 thousand steps a day when I walk to work. American average is 5,000, and it should be 10,000. So, you know, I do ok when I walk to work.

I also average around 25 calls a day at work.

I got, like... 9. And it was a busy day. But most of my day was swapping two phone sets from two different floors, swapping them back when a hubbaloo was raised (for good cause), moving some monitors around for a new person, then having it decided I should move the pc part to another spot, meaning I needed to run downstairs and get longer cables than what I had, run up to check on someones software... huff huff huff.

Oh, and I walked around the building twice.  Yeah. I hit 12,000 steps on the way home. And then, just as I was about to turn right to head home, and I saw 12k steps... I thought "Why not go to Wal-Mart? They might have the pump I need..." So I kept going and turned left.

Staggering into Wal-Mart, I perused the bike section and found a pretty sweet looking pump. It is a Schrader, but it has an adapter for Presta, and a patch fit, AND a pressure gauge built in! And it mounts on the bike! Sweet!

Also, I found Bell brand Camelbak thing. Awesome.

Loot in hand, I walked home. About 5:15, I hit 15,000 steps. I figure, sweet. Another Badge on Fitbit! I get home, sit down, and check my steps.

16,999. I cannot make this stuff up.

Oh, and 12 floors climbed. Some of that must of been the cross country walking to wally world.

So I make some coffee, listen to a bit of GBTV, post my success on fitbit, and get a lot of encouragement and cheers from the gang there.

As I relate the story, Ken takes an interest. Ken runs the Challenge group I am in. he wrote in a reply to me "making Lemons into steps and miles!!! Way to get it done!!!" Later, he highlighted some great feats for the day, and said I had "Climbed a mountain to get to work."

I was confused at the first post for a bit. When did I get lemons? I don't even LIKE lemons. Then I realized that he saw the flat tire as life handing me lemons. How did I respond?

Did I have a choice? I guess I could have called my boss and begged a ride. I have a open offer. But did I think about it? Not really. Why? I had planned for it. I was prepared. God had set in my heart a desire to never be late, regardless of circumstance, and so I planned to match, just in case. Walking, I get to work with 15 minutes to spare. This was not a hardship. I could have chosen to complain. I did mention it, since I have no social life and I like to share interesting things with my co-workers. But whine? Nope. Complain? Nah. It was a nice walk. 

When I was at work, I was given a number of tasks I didn't really care for, and a few I did but were more active and time consuming then I expected. I sweated most of the day. Complain? Nope. I addressed some concerns. But I was getting some good stats on my Fitbit and frankly I was enjoying getting off the phones. 

When I walked home, did I complain about the heat, the humidity, the pain in my feet? Nope. I thanked God for a good day. Then I went and got what I needed. And I walked home. 

After posting on the forums, I went and got weighed. 374.3lbs. I checked my steps. 18k. 

... something woke up in me. 

I can do this. 

I can actually hit 20k in a day. And not feel dead. (The latter being important to me.) 

I got my shoes back on, put on the water pack, a hat, and my iPod. I walked out to the College Track Field. The field was closed, but they have a flight of nice stone steps out front. 

... I can do this. 

I went up and down four times. I caught my breath. I went again. And again. And again. 

I can do this.

I am now home. 

21,149 steps. 

25 Floors.

6.02 Miles walked.

I sit here, coming off of an exercise fueled high, and one thought is in my head. 

I can do this.

Why?

What gives me the ability to do this?

Wrong question. 

Who...

"... for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In and and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

Philippians 4:11b-13 ESV

Ken says life gave me lemons, and I climbed a mountain. I beg to differ.

God gave me opportunities to bless Him or curse Him. I blessed Him, and through my faith in His providence, I have moved mountains.

I will extol you, my God and King,

    and bless your name forever and ever.

 Every day I will bless you

     and praise your name forever and ever.

  Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,

    and his greatness is unsearchable.

  One generation shall commend your works to another,

    and shall declare your mighty acts.

 On the glorious splendor of your majesty,

    and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.

 They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,

    and I will declare your greatness.

 They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness

    and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

 The Lord is gracious and merciful,

    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

 The Lord is good to all,

    and his mercy is over all that he has made.

  All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,

    and all your saints shall bless you!

 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom

    and tell of your power,

 to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds,

    and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

  Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

    and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

[The Lord is faithful in all his words

    and kind in all his works.]

 The Lord upholds all who are falling

    and raises up all who are bowed down.

 The eyes of all look to you,

    and you give them their food in due season.

 You open your hand;

    you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

 The Lord is righteous in all his ways

    and kind in all his works.

 The Lord is near to all who call on him,

    to all who call on him in truth.

 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;

    he also hears their cry and saves them.

 The Lord preserves all who love him,

    but all the wicked he will destroy.

 My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,

    and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

Psalms 145 ESV

Resolved, That these United Colonies... The History Behind the Declaration.

22 March 1765 - Parliament of Great Britain passes "Duties in American Colonies Act 1765; 5 George III, c. 12." Commonly called the "Stamp Act." Law requires all printing presses in the British America print only on Stamp Imprinted Paper, purchased from London, paid for only with legal British Coin. Colonial Scrip is not acceptable. Law to be carried from 1 November 1765 to perpetuity.
Purpose - To alleviate the Royal Expenditure during the Seven Years War, of which the Colonies are seen as the primary Beneficiaries, and so must also pay into the debt.

Colonists respond with outrage. A Stamp Act Congress, arguably the first true meeting of some of the Colonies aimed at mutual gain and cooperation, was held between October 7 and 25, 1765. Representatives from 9 of the 18 colonies were in attendance. By the end of there congress, they published the Declaration of  Rights and Grievances.

Among the many issues raised was that, having logical argued their status as full British Citizens, owed the same treatment as any other British Citizen in any other British holding, was being treated unfairly. They were being directly taxed with out a Representative in Parliament to speak on their behalf. That The Admiralty Courts had their power extended far beyond their "... ancient limits," and tended to rule against Colonial interests regardless of evidence.

The entire act is a polite redress of grievances, assuring the Crown of their desire for devotion and warmest affection, and of their loyalty while requesting a repeal of the act.

They were not alone, and many merchant houses in England also objected to the act.

Tax collectors in the Colonies were be harassed constantly, and violence was not uncommon. It became difficult for the Governors to keep and collectors in their employ, and so as November came around, the Stamp Act was largely ignored.

After the pressures put on it, Parliament repealed the Stamp act on 17 March 1766.

18 March 1766 - Parliament passes the Declaratory Act. It states that it has the power to pass any laws to bind the colonies... in any case whatsoever. In other words, it gave itself the legal justification to pass any act, and law, and tariff it so desired at any time, for any cause. A nearly identical act was used to bind Ireland into virtual bondage to the Crown.

5 March 1770 - A riotous crowd gathers outside the Customs House of Boston, Province of Massachusetts Bay. As they passes, the Guards are assaulted with rocks and snowballs. A Colonist is stuck by a British rifle butt. Cooler Colonial heads try to disperse the crowd, 19 year old Henry Knox chiding the Guards that "If you fire, you must die for it!"  The captain of the Guard is summoned, and he arrives with more soldiers. As the engagement grows, with many Colonial agitators crying "Fire!"

Events become blurry at best, but it is believed that Private Montgomery was hit with a club, causing him to stumble and drop with weapon. On collecting it from the ground, he raised it, cried, "Damn you, fire!" and discharged his weapon. His fellow soldiers followed suit in staggered fashion.

Captain Preston did his best to bring order to his men. As the crowd dispersed, three dead, two yet to die, and six more wounded, he called out the 29th regiment and fortified his position. He then sought a fair inquiry into the shooting, known now as the Boston Massacre.

Fall 1770 - With John Adams serving as Defense Council, Cpt. John Preston, British Royal Army, is acquitted. Six of the remaining eight soldiers are also acquitted, with the other two convicted on Manslaughter due to the overwhelming evidence of them firing point blank into the crowd.

This impartial ruling, given to men hated by the populace, laid the foundation of the belief in the Rule of Law, not of men.

10 May 1773 - The Tea Act is passed. It allows the East India Company to directly import tea from Britain to the Colonies without duty. Plainly speaking, the Company had a vast surplus of tea in England, and the cost of paying Duties was enough to prohibit them from shipping the goods to the Colonies, who were buying black market tea to get around the Townshend Act's tax on tea. (1767)

With no duties, it was not only feasible to ship to the Colonies, it was greatly desired. It was assumed that with Tea cheaper than black market prices (With no duties, the Company could cut prices) they Colonists would see reason and buy legally.

They were wrong. The Townshend Acts were still in place, and thus were still a tax with out representation. As a matter of principle, Colonial buyers refuse to buy Company tea.

16 December 1773 - Every Colony but Massachusetts has managed to revoke the Company shipments of tea. Royal Governor Thomas Hutchinson refuses to allow the three ships to leave harbor, believing the protesters will cave.

After a long meeting regarding these events, between 30 and 130 men, some dressed as Indians, boarded the three ships and in the course of three hours dumped all the tea into the harbor. The message was clear: We will have nothing to do with a tax without our own representation. It is follow to think otherwise.

These events prompted London to remove the Colonial local government and place it under the rule of General Thomas Gage.


19 April, 1775 - Middlesex County, Province of Massachusetts Bay. Gage has learned of Colonial arms stockpiles in Concord. Royal troops are sent to confiscate them.

Having considered this eventuality, having been trained to ready to respond to an attack in a minute or less, and having been forewarned of the troop movement the night before by Paul Revere and William Dawes,

Shortly after four in the morning, Captain Parker stood with 80 Colonial soldiers, his training cadre, in Lexington. Many of them were relations of his. From experience, he felt that the British troops would find nothing and leave. A scout informed him of the approaching Royal forces size: 700 men.

Aware of his vast numerical inferiority, Captain Parker choose to make a political statement. He arrayed his men in parade formation on the city greens. They would not impede the oncoming force. They would merely state by their presence that such a visiting was not wanted. It was later recalled that Parker said to his men "Stand your ground; don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here."

The British forces surrounded Parker and his men, shouting and causing a general ruckus. The officers intended to take Parker's surrender and weapons.

As Parker ordered his men to comply and disperse some one fired into the commons. A general engagement preceded quickly, with the Colonials getting at best one scattered volley out before either fleeing or being killed. Many were run through by British bayonets. The extreme close quarters of the fight meant it lasted mere moments. One British soldier and eight Americans lie dead.

After gathering the men together again, the British continue to Concord. There a battle is engaged, ending with the British army besieged in the confines of Boston.

The War had begun.

7 June 1776 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposes a resolution to the Second Continental Congress..

"Resolved, That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved. That it is expedient forthwith to take the most effectual measures for forming foreign Alliances. That a plan of confederation be prepared and transmitted to the respective Colonies for their consideration and approbation."

28 June 1776 - A declaration of independence is presented for consideration with the Lee Resolution.

2 July 1776 - The first clause of the Lee Resolution is approved by 12 of the 13 Colonies. New York, lacking guidance from home, abstains until July 9th, when they too throw in their lot with the rest.

The Pennsylvania Evening Post reads:

"This day the Continental Congress declared the United Colonies Free and Independent States."

3 July 1776 - John Adams writes to his wife Abigail:

"The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."

4 July 1776 - The Second Continental Congress publishes the Declaration of Independence.

In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
A DECLARATION
By the REPRESENTATIVES of the
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
In GENERAL CONGRESS assembled.

WHEN in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness—-That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the Present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People; unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

He has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

He has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the Dangers of Invasion from without, and Convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that Purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their Migrations hither, and raising the Conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the Tenure of their Offices, and Amount and Payment of their Salaries.

He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their Substance.

He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies, without the consent of our Legislature.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

For imposing taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an arbitrary Government, and enlarging its Boundaries, so as to render it at once an Example and fit Instrument for introducing the same absolute Rule in these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Powers to legislate for us in all Cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our Towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.

He is, at this Time, transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the Works of Death, Desolation, and Tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous Ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized Nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the Executioners of their Friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic Insurrections among us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable Jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native Justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be,Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of the divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Signed by Order and in Behalf of the Congress,
JOHN HANCOCK, President.

I am a super hero!

I was on a walk today and I saw this about a block from the nearest H.E.B. 

The incline you see is pretty steep, but I managed to pull the cart out without getting icky wet.

Seems weird to just leave it there. Seems weirder that NO ONE else rescued it. Meh.

I walked it back to the store and handed it off to an employee with a description of what happened. He sounded sooooo thrilled to get it back. *Cough*


Anyway. Just a comment that when people decided to neglect common responsibility, we end up with carts in ditches. (or economies... )

A good citizen, a responsible one, I would hope would stop and take the time to pull the cart out of the icky ditch and return it to the store for restoration.

Also, from now on I shall be known as

ERIC, RESCUER OF CARTS!(tm)

The Hero...

Not being an athletic sort of guy, biking the 3.7 miles to the nearest movie theatre was... interesting. It took me about an hour to get there, and I more sweat then I want to admit to, but I huffed and I puffed my way in. It was just under a week ago, and I was ready to see The Avengers!

For those who need a refresher or have no interest in the movie, there are a group (And I use the term ... loosely) of "Superheroes" banding together to fight a common enemy. The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Thor, Black Widow... the lot of them are heroes and main characters onto themselves, but we see them form a group that can do some very impressive feats, once they use their strengths in unison.

My favorite is Captain America, but that is mainly because he is, pure and simple, a Patriot. He may be displaced in time, but he has proven that he is willing to die for his county because he loves it. It appeals to me.
Iron Man is cool... but.... eh. The Hulk? Meh. Hawkeye I don't know much about. Black Widow is hot, and I liked the character development she had... but she isn't a patriot. Thor... is Thor. Demi-god. Meh.

Captain America is, hands down, my favorite superhero.

But he isn't my Hero.

Now, some may think "Oh, he's a christian, he's gonna say Jesus!" ... Nope. Jesus isn't a hero. He's GOD. A hero is someone who has something to lose. God can't lose anything... He's GOD.

My hero is a man who gave the majority of his adult life to a career he was not fond of to support his family. He fought his own battles in his own heart and mind over issues I won't name out of respect for his privacy. He fought for a marriage on the rocks (many times). He fought to protect his children from any unreasonable harm, including at times himself. He fights everyday to love and honor and follow God.

My hero walked over a mile in the snow to take car part the broken down vehicle he left at work. He also walked a mile or more to get a can of gas, also in the snow. He stayed up longer then he really should have packing for a hard move, has driven the largest U-Haul you can get thousands of miles across two countries and both mountain ranges. One of those ranges he did twice.

My hero has resuscitated a stillborn puppy, drained the infected ears of an old dog, cleaned up after cats who just gave birth and carried a blind old mutt out from behind a pickup for years until he finally carried the dog to its final home.

My Hero taught me all I know about honor, loving someone even when it's hard, and how to make a fried egg sandwich. I would not be the man I am today without my hero.

Dad, I love you.

Eric.