Conversation with God.

One of the hardest things for me in life right now is being single. I keep hearing how it's supposedly a great thing, to enjoy it while it lasts, that you lose freedom by being in a relationship... you know what? Being single sucks. By nature I am an extroverted introvert. An introvert who, when at work or some other setting where the rules for social engagement is understood, will be able to express interest with others and be able to open up. In my case, to tell really bad jokes (so I am told). Out side of work, church, and IMing with family and three or four others, I have ZERO social life.

Eric, you say, there is your problem! No social life, no way to meet girls!

Firstly, I want a Lady, not a girl. Secondly, I am not a social person. Neither is my dad, but he managed to find Mom! So, what's the deal? Warning... Don't ask God this. The conversation might go like this...

Me: God, why am I still single? You know I want a relationship, what's holding me back?
God: (Silence. Of course. Sigh.)
Me: It's not like I'm not ready for a relationship. I have a good job, an apt, I am responsible at work and with my cat...
God: Oh really....
Eric: .... uh... crap. God replied.
God: So, you're ready for a relationship?
Eric: (Is this a trick question?) Yeees? I think so?
God: So, you are able to handle all the loan payments, bills, food, etc without needing any help from family?
Eric: Uh....
God: It's ok. It happens. But tell me this: are you responsible to everything that needs doing at home?
Eric: ... I'm afraid to ask, but what do you mean?
God: How is you're laundry?
Eric: Done.
God: Dishes?
Eric: Done.
God: Is the table cleaned off?
Eric: ...
God: The couch?
Eric: ...
God: The bathroom clean? The kitchen? Have you swept the floor and taken out the trash? Is your refrigerator clean?
Eric: No.
...
...
God: What about your relationship with Me?
Eric: I don't like where this is headed.
God: And I do?
Eric: ... point.
God: You know, you've even extolled on, the need for men to have a healthy relationship with Me before they can truly be the servant leaders their wives deserve.
Eric: Okay, I see where you are headed with this, but honestly, wouldn't a relationship help stabilize me to the point where *our* relationship would improve?
God: ...
Eric: ... yeah... ok... that was a bad argument.
God: Don't get me wrong, a woman in your life would do wonders for you...
Eric: ... thanks?
God: But are you so focused on not having a relationship that you aren't concerned about our relationship? You know any woman you will really want to pursue will desire a man who is pursuing Me. So... what's your holdup, tiger?
Eric: ... I'm really not happy with the direction this conversation has taken.
God: I think I worked it rather well, myself...
Eric: Well, yeah, but you're GOD... you can do anything.
God: Point.
Eric: Sigh.
God: Yep.
Eric: Why is it so hard for me to actually pursue you? Or even to do the basic things like be in Your Word?
God: Am I your God?
Eric: Well, duh, yes.
God: Am I?
Eric: ... why do I feel a Peter on the lakeshore moment coming?
God: Cause I made you Genre Savvy.
Eric: ... thanks?
God: Eric, do you even want me in your life, or am I just a call service to get you what you want?
Eric: Now that is just unfair. You know I am not like That!
God: And you know I have used hyperbole in the past to highlight certain flaws that would otherwise be "mysteriously overlooked."
Eric: ... still don't like the implication.
God: And I do?
Eric: ...  There is no easy fix to this, is there?
God: No. No there is not.
Eric: Alright. I'll... I'll try. I don't know how I'll do it... but I'll try.
God: You know....
Eric: I'm almost afraid to ask...
God: You are very process and ritual oriented...
Eric: Noticed...
God: You could, for the sake of argument, get up an hour earlier, show up to work an hour earlier, and while your boss is not there spent time in My Word while it is quiet...
Eric: ... That means getting up at 4 A.M.
God: I know.
Eric: I do not like 4 A.M.
God: I'm rather fond of it.
Eric: I'm not sure I like You right now.
God: Never said you had to like Me. Though it does help.
Eric: ... I will take it into consideration.
God: Please do.
Eric: Right. Anyway. Nice chat.
God: Ayep.
Eric: ... Did God just say "Ayep?"


God: Ayep.